The Friend I Need Right Now

You’re the friend I needed right now. The friend I need forever. Thinking about the beginning of us and how I can’t remember when we fell in love with each other is the best part to me because it was effortless, it was that easy for me to love you and for you to love me. Love has never been easy for someone like me and I needed someone to show me that it can be, sometimes it should be.

Never have I needed someone to tell me incessantly how much they love and care for me. Being around has always been enough, is still enough. But you call me, you check in on me, you ask me about the most minute details of my life and listen with kindness in your eyes and hope if your words.  You feed me sweetness and compassion when my tummy has always been full of resilience and just-trying-to-get-by. You’re the perfect anytime snack.

But then you’re a force. We yell when we’re grumpy and we let each other be less than perfect until the feeling passes. All the coffee in the world sometimes isn’t enough to get me up and you let me stay down, you join me on my ground. We are moody together and we forgive each other for who we are when we’re not our greatest. We call each other just to say hello when we’re sad.  Most importantly, you remind me that tomorrow is a new day for me to look to when today seems so dark. You are my north star to better days.

I never thought I would live for the words of love and affirmation that spill from people’s mouths, but I live for yours. I live for the times when you look at me and say you’re glad I’m in your life. I’m in awe of your generosity when you tell me how amazing you think I am because really, you’re the one that’s amazing. I’m the one that is so grateful to have you in my heart.

Every time you send words my way, I could cry. Weep, even. Because I know you mean it. I’ll never have to doubt the endless praise and love because you wouldn’t offer me water if I weren’t thirsty. You are the waterfall I will always chase.

Your friendship is sweet and pure and full of our mutual ups and downs, but the imperfection is the most beautiful part. You have accepted me in my worst and offered the best love I could ever know. My dear friend, I’ll never let you go. I’ll never stop craving the times I sat on the couch with you and watched TV. All the beers you open only to leave out on the counter waiting for me to finish will never go undrunk. The pasta we make together impatiently will always be my favorite meal. The photographs and the laughs, they’re all my favorite part of living. They’re all keeping me alive.

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