Say No to Ugly Cases

          I know this is a sensitive topic for smart phone lovers, but I'm going to talk about it anyways. We need to stop covering our phones with ugly, dual tone, clunky cases. I can't be the only one who sees these cases and baby barfs every single time. I know what you're going to say, "But my really cool and expensive phone needs to be protected!" Yeah okay, I understand that, but why can't we have a not-so-clunky case with some personality to protect our phones? Because we're too paranoid and materialistic, that's why. Here are some of my reasons for choosing an aesthetically pleasing case over a super protective one:

1. It looks like we lack individuality. These phone case companies are tricking us! They can change around the colors a little bit, but they still all look the same. Is this how we really want to go down as a society? Death by cleverly disguised conformity? Open your eyes, ladies and gentlemen! 
2. We're turning into materialistic a-holes. Let's move past the fact that people change their phone every single time there's a slight upgrade. We don't need to talk about the difference between the iPhone 5 and 5s and how "upgrading" to the next one is probably not that big of a deal or how great the new bending iPhone 6 plus is because that's a whole other blog to be written. Let's focus on the fact that we are so attached to our phones that we feel the need to protect it like a newborn child. Sure you should protect your investment, but do you really need a phone-sized tank for that? 
3. Eventually, if not already, your phone isn't going to fit in your pocket. Wasn't the whole point of cell phones to be portable? Didn't we spend years and years waiting for a phone that would be small enough to fit in your pocket? Didn't we then make it into a mini-computer that could still fit in your pocket? We're reverting back to huge, bulky phones and pretty soon we're just going to be back at square one. Don't add to the dilemma with obnoxious cases!

          There you go. Three great reasons to get a cute, sensible, and small case. If you didn't catch on by this point and are offended, this is satirical. The fact that you're offended, however, does nothing but help my arguments. Thank you.