Of Course

From Journal #3
​Feb. 2014

          No one writes this kind of love story. It's not exciting and it's not complicated. It didn't hurt like it's supposed to, but it sure did hurt. No one writes a story about the love that starts all the rest.
          I was thirteen years old when I fell in love. There was no complicated montage set to cheesy music. There was no walking hand in hand on the beach at sunset. There was certainly no kissing scene. There was just a girl sitting cross legged in front of a mirror.
          As girls, we're never good enough. We're always going to be portrayed in a negative light. And we let all of this continue to define us. We let all of this bring us down. And it's our fault.
          We let people tell us what's beautiful. We allow others to get inside our head. We make ourselves feel ugly. As women, we need to stop blaming others and accept the responsibility of the fact that we brought this on ourselves.
          So how is this a love story? Because love is a choice. At thirteen years old, I sat in front of the mirror and decided to love myself. I decided to stop letting people tell me I'm not good enough because to them, I never would be. I decided to sit in front of that mirror and point out all the things that made me beautiful.
          Love is not perfect. You have to work at love and self-love is no different. You're going to have to fight everyday against people who tell you you're not good enough. Decide to think they're wrong. Don't be fooled by conceit, it is not love. Love is humble. Decide to love.