It’s a sad story, what happened between you and I. A story that was only worth remembering for a second, and then it was nothing. But that one second was enough justification for me to hold onto this memory of you for the rest of my life. You were good enough for a second of time and space, so you were good enough for me.
All I have of you is the one conversation we had, recorded in the forefront of my mind. Always available for me to play over and over again, each time getting further from the truth of what was really said.
We talked about our differences and we talked about the worlds we each lived in. You lived a world full of rules that you liked to follow and opinions that had been passed down from generation to generation without a thought or objection. I lived in a similar world, but I decided to break every rule set before me and believe in nothing that everyone tried to shove into my mind. Maybe we lived in the same world and were just living in different universes within it.
Despite the rules you love and the opinions we didn’t share, I found heaven in your mind. The way your brain operated was so foreign to me. It didn’t make sense and it still doesn’t make sense, but it was beautiful to see you exist in a different sphere adjacent to my own. You were the opposite I was magnetically attracted to.
You explained how easy my life would be if I simply gave in to the people who made the rules and if I would only see that they existed to keep me safe, then I wouldn’t fall into these deep holes so often. I could start digging them, instead. You looked so concerned and so ernest as I laughed at the idea of a cookie cutter version of my life.
I could never give in to the people that make the rules. I know they make them to benefit themselves, but you didn’t like that. The look of worry on your face when I described a life full of recklessness was precious. That’s the second I remember most of all.
This glimpse into your life was so beautiful, the way you wholeheartedly believed in the thoughts you had admirable. But then the cigarettes burned out and the drinks were all gone and home was calling me to sleep. The sad ending to the story is that I’ll never see you again, never laugh at your worry face to face. But the small peek at your world was breathtaking. I look for it in every person I meet, which I guess makes this story not so sad after all.