I can't think about her. For a month of my life, she was my everything. She greeted me when I came home and she missed me when I was gone. My roommates told me so. I couldn't stand to leave her for an extended period of time. For one month, she was my world.
When I moved, I had to give up a lot. My room, my bathroom, my privacy. But nothing hurts as much as losing my everything. I used to call her that all the time; my everything. But I would say it like this: my ev-ehr-y-ting.
Now that we're separated, I feel a little empty. Like someone took a ladle and scooped out part of my spirit. She was so small, she could probably fit in it. It's been almost two weeks since we've been apart and I still try not to think about her. As they took her away, I didn't even say goodbye. If she had to go, I wasn't going to watch her leave.
Why do I get so attached? Why do I fall in love so easily? I knew we never should have cuddled. But dammit if it wasn't the best month in a long time, even if she was the most annoying thing. Sure I had to clean up after her, but the amount of love she gave me made it all worth while. A few kisses here and there and I was done. She had me. Forever.
Will I ever be able to move on? Probably not for a while. The last time I lost someone this important to me, I didn't recover. I still cry about him. We were supposed to grow old together. But we had spent years together. Maybe this one month love won't take so long to get over.
Baby is probably doing fine, I know that. Deep down, I know I'll never be able to visit or ask how she's doing. I won't be able to handle it. This just goes to show that you should never fall in love, at least not with a puppy you know won't be around for long. She was a good one, my Baby. She was a good girl.