Loneliness is my new friend. She is with me every night when I go to bed and I needed a break from this new friend. I called on an old friend, hoping she would come to fill her space. When I actually picked up the phone to call, I wasn't kidding at all when I asked if she would come. But I played it off like it was a fun joke, an idea I presented with the thought that I would be turned down.
I wanted to experience something other than this new friend I found in my solitude and have fun with someone familiar. My new friend had become one of my only companions. So when I called my old friend, who had been living her own busy life, I didn't expect the quick response of dropping everything and flying across the country to be with me.
Within a manner of days, my old friend took the place of my new friend. I feel honored and proud to show my old friend my new life and leave loneliness behind for a while.
What do you mean you were surprised when I came running? All I had to do was buy a plane ticket, fly across the country, take time off work and try to explain to my parents why this couldn’t wait, why you couldn’t wait. It was never a question of whether I’d come. I could hear the need in your voice and that was all the convincing I needed.
Your surprise and your doubt made me realize how spoiled I’ve been. People have always come running when I called. Not because I’m a saint or the best g’damn person on this God forsaken planet, but because… well I guess I don’t know the why or the because. All I know is that the people who heard the need in my voice made me be just as willing to leap across boundaries and borders for someone and everyone like you. That was decided the first time we fell right in line with each other.
I’ve always been convinced that this was my great love story; the one where the protagonists were me and my rag tag group of miscreant friends that I get to love right back. This platonic intimacy and this beautiful cacophony of needing each other and being there in an instant is unbeatable. I'm going to stay convinced that every other kind of story isn’t as good, for now. Welcome to that story and prepare yourself, it’s been the best ride of my fucking life.
Driving through back roads and small towns to get to you is heaven to me. It’s bliss. An adventure worth taking to get you the love you need. Picture me as a doctor making a house call, only this is so much more urgent. If all you need is a familiar face, I’ll see you as soon as the plane lands. Someone to sit in the passenger seat while you drive to antique stores to pick out furniture for your new place because you’re convinced you need me to help you find your home? I’ll play the music.
This is it, baby. You’re stuck with a marathon sprinter who will find any road that leads to you. You should know that by now. But I don’t blame you for doubting. It's hard to be brave and to ask someone to love you, but this doubt you have isn’t scary to someone like me, it doesn’t make me run in any other direction. It just makes me so much more willing to fly. The question will never be, “Will you come?” It will always be, “When are you getting here?”
featuring guest writer, Serena Spry